The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms

I didn’t give a second thought to my poor old placenta, either during my pregnancies or after the births. Sure they’re clever and all that, but they’re ugly, ‘offal’ some might say. I never saw them and didn’t have any desire to. Your average mom would agree with me. Some, less squeamish moms are a little more curious as to the makeup of the wondrous organ that nourished their baby for 9 months. And there are those that go one step further and want to celebrate the placenta; some even calling themselves ‘placenta enthusiasts’. After watching the Channel4 documentary ‘How to be a Good Mother with Sharon Horgan’ I was driven to look into this further. You might be surprised with how many ways there are to celebrate the placenta. Here are a few in increasing order of ickiness (IMHO).

You could bury it. Some families choose to commemorate the birth and celebrate the placenta by burying it beside an existing tree or under a new tree or plant. It fertilizes the tree making a symbol of life. Quite tasteful and as a plus point once it’s buried you can’t see the placenta.
This is a popular custom in many African cultures. Navajo Indians bury the placenta within the sacred four corners of the tribe’s reservation as a binder to ancestral land and people. The Navajos also bury objects with it to signify the profession they hope the child will pursue.

You could burn it. After I was born at home it took my dad by surprise when the midwife presented him with a package and said “you’ll need to burn this in the garden”. The midwife didn’t want it – by the end of a busy day she’d be ferrying around a carful of placentas and trailing a string of excited dogs in her wake. Not being prepared, it took my dad quite some time searching out enough wood to make a reasonable bonfire. After my brother was born 5 years later knowing ‘What to Expect’ he had his fire all prepared ahead of time.
In some countries, South America and Korea for example the placenta is burned after birth to neutralize it. The ashes can be kept and used as medicine for the child when it is ill.

Before you bury/burn it you could embark upon a few placenta art projects. Try a placenta print (prettier than you might think for a picture drawn in blood) or make a charm out of the plaited cord in the shape of a heart and put it in your window – should scare away the door-to-door salesmen, and anyone else for that matter.
In many cultures it is a popular custom to keep the umbilical cord as a kind of good luck charm to protect the child. In India and Mexico, the cord is placed around the child’s neck, while in Turkey it is kept in the house. Among Plains Indians, an infant’s dried umbilical cord is placed in a small beaded pouch and when hung from the headboard of the cradle becomes the baby’s first toy.

You could eat it. Eating the placenta is known as placentophagy. Many animals eat their placenta to get nutrition – but when people are already well-nourished, there is no benefit say medical experts. However, many believe that because the organ is rich in minerals and vitamins, particularly B6, it has various health benefits to the postpartum mom including reduced risk of post-natal depression and reduced haemorrhaging.
There are many ways to prepare it. Basically, treat it like beef or kidney and the choice is yours: roast placenta, placenta lasagne and placenta bolognaise, placenta meatloaf, placenta Wellington, placenta jerky and (gag) placenta tartare, which preserves the greatest amount of the placenta’s nutritional content. However you cook it, be sure to remove the membranes and umbilical cord first! Famous placenta aficionado Tom Cruise says placenta “reminds him of veal, but with a springier texture like heart” and even knew which wines to serve with a placenta meal. For example with his favourite placenta meatloaf he suggests you serve smoky wines such as Barolo or Barbaresco. One wonders just how many placentas Tom has tucked into given that he only has one child.

You could have it made it into placenta capsules – it lasts longer. One placenta makes 90-140 capsules if you steam and dehydrate it then grind into a powder and encapsulate it. For thousands of years, traditional Chinese medicine has recognized the placenta as a life-giving force. The powder is sprinkled on meals as it is believed it will increase a person’s energy and vitality, increase milk supply, settle hormones after birth and avoid postpartum depression.

You could even drink it. Whizz placenta chunks, a few berries and a banana in the food processer and you have a delicious placenta smoothie. Oh yes, that does sound appetising!

You could have a placenta party. Now here’s where it gets complicated. While you, or your husband, may not have a problem eating your own meat, it takes a special group of friends to want to indulge – you might find some have recently turned vegetarian after you send out the invites. It’s something I only associate with Hannibal Lecter and the plane crash survivors in ‘Alive’.
Anyway, if you’re going for it…decorate your room with your placenta prints and hang your umbilical cord charm on the door to welcome your guests. For the best wine to accompany your placenta pâté starter and main course of placenta hotpot consult Mr. Cruise. Follow up the meal with a placenta smoothie dessert and send your guests on their way with a strand of dried umbilical cord as a keepsake.

So what did you do with your placenta? Would love to hear any interesting stories. Do share (just the story – keep your placenta jerky to yourselves).

Filed under: Motherhood Tagged: | eating placenta, Motherhood, Parenting, placenta art, placenta party, placenta prints, Postpartum, umbilical cord charms