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Lorraine
EricaI’m an impatient person. I drive faster than I should, I’m the first one done my meals at the supper table and I can’t stand in a line-up at the store. Many times my impatience has gotten me ahead in life as sometimes the early / impatient bird does in fact get the worm. However, when it comes to my children, I have come to the realization that letting my impatient nature dominate my behaviour with them would be very detrimental to their development.
My 2-year-old son loves to copy my 5-year-old daughter and both children love to copy their parents. It’s normal and it is how they learn. Telling them how something is done and not giving them the time to practice is one of the worst things I have done as a parent. Patience has now become my new mantra. It is hard for me, almost painful but I know I need to practice and deliver on being slow, deliberate and patient.
It is awe-inspiring as a parent to see your children watch your every move and each activity you undertake in a way that can only be described as a magical cataloguing process. Their little minds take it all in and file it in their newly developing library of knowledge. I recently took apart our dining room table (long story) to make room for some party supplies for an XMAS event at our home. A simple activity that I would normally complete by rolling up my sleeves, undoing a few bolts and carrying the parts into our garage. Normally I wouldn’t give the activity another thought other than getting it done as fast as I can so as to move on to something more enjoyable. This time however my children were hovering about, eyes wide with excitement. Instead of asking them to go find their Mom as Daddy was “busy”, I took the opposite approach. I showed them the tools I was using and how they worked, I explained how the table needed to be taken apart and stored in a way that we could easily find all the parts for reassembly and most importantly…..I invited them to help me! In a few minutes, the three of us were busy undoing bolts using socket wrenches. I’ll admit my 2-year-old had the wrench upside down and backwards but he was nonetheless determined to help and pleased to be part of the activity.
Both children, through watching me and practicing, ended up being able to loosen a screw with the wrench and neatly assemble some of the parts as I had shown them. Their eyes were bright, smiles the size of watermelon slices stayed on their faces the whole time and we all chatted busily about what we were doing. My mundane task, normally a rushed chore, had turned into one of the most rewarding experiences I have had with my children. Taking apart a table, who would think? It took me 3 times as long to take the table apart, with bathroom breaks, screws rolling under furniture and a snack requirement midway through but the learning for my kids and the satisfaction for me was well worth it all.
So the next time you get home after rushing through the drive thru for a coffee or fighting traffic from the office while juggling phone calls (hands free of course) take a breather, slow down and find a mundane activity to brighten your whole family’s life. Step your kids through the mundane motions you’ve done many times in the past and revel in the excitement and newness you’ll see in your little ones’ eyes.
Written by Rookie Dad Terry
Good point Terry! I too spend too much time trying to get my children out of the way to rush through a task that they actually find interesting, would like to help with and might even learn from.
Most weekends of my childhood were spent accompanying my dad as he went about his chores. I would regularly ‘help’ while he cut the grass or washed the car. An outing would often be to the dump, the hardware store, a or even the abattoir to get our fussy cat his dinners for the week, eeek! A special treat was a run through the auto carwash – what colour brushes would we be greeted with? Green was the best as it was like being in a jungle; blue – under the sea. Hardly Disneyland, but I was never bored and always happy to accompany my dad.
I was just like you – rushing to fit everything into a day. Breakfast was always, “eat quickly or you will be late for school,” “dress up quickly,” “walk faster.” Rushing my poor little girl all the time. Now I just bite my tongue and let her do things at a pace she enjoys. I have become less stressed too, and less naggy!
You’ve really hit the nail on the head with this one. There’s a great advert on British TV showing kids watching their parents smoking, then pretending to smoke as well… it made me realise (or reminded me, I should say) how much they do take in. I’m guilty of the same: rush rush RUSH all the time. Its not good for me, how can it be good for my child? Letting her do tasks at her own pace, and not interrupting to ‘help’ all the time means she feels so much more confident when she figures something out on her own and knows I won’t always take over, even if I am there offering support. Great post