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As I sign up my 9 month old son for Gymboree class on Tuesdays, swimming lessons on Thursdays and parent and tot gymnastics on Saturdays….I stop to wonder, is this too much activity for one little guy? Being on maternity leave I of course want to accomplish life’s ambitions before I have to return to work. I also want to spend as much “quality” time as I can with my little guy. But, I have to ask myself, does filling our day with activities such as packing the diaper bag, pre-heating the bottle, getting everyone dressed and out the door, packing the stroller and not forgetting to grab “soo, soo” on the way out (otherwise the drive to gymnastics will be a total nightmare) have to be the way to fill our day?
Don’t get me wrong, I think that external activities are important and should be mandatory for any new mom. Getting out of the house is a great way to expose your little one to new adventures, new smells, new sights, etc. Also, getting out of the house can be a great way for mom to get external stimulation from like minded individuals rather than changing diapers and watching Baby Einstein DVDs. I think that enrolling in one….maybe two activities a week is healthy for mind, body and soul. But, how many activities is enough or too much?
I was once told by a child psychologist friend of mine that two activities per week (for any age group) is about the limit. One of those activities should be focused on exercise for the body (swimming, gymnastics, infant massage, etc.) and the other should be focused on exercise for the mind (art class, music class, etc).
One point to mention is that moms don’t need to leave the home to stimulate their babies’ minds….what is commonly referenced as “structured play” is also just as important and effective. “Structured play” is when your child has time just to play by themselves and explore within the confines of your own home. Obviously you want to keep them in a safe and healthy environment otherwise they will most likely just “play” themselves right up to daddy’s empty beer bottles and take a swig of what’s remaining. However, if you provide your child with some toys such as blocks, large pieces of Lego or medium sized balls to play with….a child can keep busy exploring these toys and uncovering new shapes, colours and textures all on their own (with mom’s supervision of course). If you are brave you can even include food in the mix….diverse types of food can provide a great learning experience for a little one. You don’t need to pay $50/month to belong to a baby group to give your child that experience.
I guess the moral of the story is to not feel pressured to keep your child on a tight, condensed schedule. It’s important to get out of the house every so often. However, in this day and age parents are forgetting that it’s just as important, if not more important to let kids “learn, play and explore” their own surroundings right in the comfort of your own home. And, you as the mommy don’t have to get out of your comfy sweats to make that happen (lol).
Filed under: Baby Tagged: | Baby, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Structured Play
You realise the rest of the world is going “are you kidding?” I think we have a baby swimming thing at the pool, but only at six in the evening (yeah, great planning) and apart from that, babies don’t get activities until they’re six, maybe five.
Ha, funny. I’ve just moved back to the UK from Canada and am finding that there is way less in the way of activities for little ones (and me) to enjoy. The local community centres in downtown Vancouver (of which there were 3 in walking distance) had endless choices of music, storytime, gym, art, dance, mom and baby fitness etc etc etc. My daughter went to 2 or 3 a week. They were always at sensible times for the agegroup concerned. Here I’ve been hunting and failing to find a casual dance class for my 5yo – there is only one run at a stupid time 15 mins drive away. The rest are all serious ballet school courses. And for my nearly 2yo there is nothing beyond ‘mummy and toddler group’ at the local church. It’s very disappointing and I’m missing my Canadian facilities.
Funny – I was just talking about this yesterday. Having moved from London to Vancouver, I found it overwhelming the number of classes people take their kids to here. What with proffesional figure skating at 5yo and serious scholarship level hockey at 6yo I feel a bit of a lazy git not sending my daughter to anything. Its definitely a Canadian thing.
My first born was definitely overscheduled….however, my second gets out only when we are driving my first to her dance lessons. Ok, ok, maybe he gets to go to swimming once a week….but, not all the programs that my first got. Gosh, if I have a third he/she may never leave the house (lol).
This is a great post!
I completely agree. I haven’t got the money or the energy to fill every day with classes and ‘outside’ activities. We go to one or two playgroups a week, visit with friends and sometimes swimming or throw Kai into a soft-play type place. And that’s QUITE enough for both of us.
I think it can be quite counter-productive all this ‘activity’. I find it hard to stick to the snack/nap/lunch etc routine that suits Kai best when I’m trying to fit around lots of class schedules. And children that are used to a whirlwind of activity all day every day don’t learn the very essential skill that is occupying themselves for a while and being allowed to explore and self-direct their play.
I study at home and sometimes I need Kai to be able to play quietly on his own for a while. I set him up with an activity, play with him for a while, then leave him to get on with it, while staying close by. It’s teaching him independence and autonomy and focus – all great things in my book.
Great post.
I think in the UK this activity exhaustion is very common in cities and particularly in the South East – when my little girl was born we had baby music, baby art classes, baby swimming, Gymboree and Tumble Tots, Socatots, baby drama classes and then nurseries often brought in groups for things like French and yoga.
For me, as a parent, I think I definitely over-stimulated Flea in her first year, to try and meet other parents and also to feel like I was “making the most” of our time together when I wasn’t working. Of course what I found out was I was adding unnecessary stress to our day and also Flea wasn’t learning how to entertain and amuse herself – so we cut right back.
I fell into the trap again when I moved into a new town, signing up for toddler swimming classes, Tumble Tots and Talking Tots, but after a couple of months I cut right back.
I realised that it’s too easy to be pressured into giving children a ‘head start’ of some kind, despite all the research showing the US starts kids on formal learning too early, and that this causes all kinds of problems later on. The final straw for me was a Talking Tots leader telling me that reception class was “too late” for children to learn social skills, and these HAD to be acquired in the toddler years.
It’s just too much pressure on parents and children – I agree, one or two fun activities per week and then encourage your child’s independence and creativity in a more relaxed way.
I can totally relate to this post! My kids are 2 and 4 and would both love to be involved in something every day. At the baby stage moms should enjoy just spending time with their little ones. It all goes by way too fast!
As a stay at home dad I get the pleasure of taking my little guy to all of the playgroups you speak of in your post. I love the outings with him, but I do find if I do too many he gets quite fussy and doesn’t enjoy it enough. As a parent read your child’s body language. If they seem tired skip the event, it’s not worth the hassle.