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Lorraine
EricaA couple of weeks ago I was ill. As I’m currently staying with my parents while our house purchase completes, I was able to take a rare opportunity to recuperate in bed rather than soldiering on as moms are so often apt (forced) to do when unwell. I’ve longed for this day for approximately five years – an entire day of rest, relaxation and reading a good book, most importantly away from the kids. Yet ironically as I lay there trying unsuccessfully to nap and listening to the kids play with their grandparents my only thought was that I wanted to be downstairs with them. It hit home that day that I’m very often guilty of not appreciating my kids.
I very often hide from the imaginary games of my five year old – invented housework, unnecessary diaper changes, even making a dent in the ironing mound are preferable. When it’s absolutely unavoidable and the game of princesses (where I spend most of the time being bossed around by a squeaky voice – princesses apparently speak in higher pitched voices than five year olds) moves into minute thirty-one I tend to snap and tell her in no uncertain terms to bog off and play something on her own. I very often get annoyed when I’m trying to do something (like write that late blog post I’ve unwisely left until the last minute) with two kids chipping away at my fast thinning patience. I very often refer to my son as ‘a pain in the arse’. I very often release a sigh of relief at naptime and release an even bigger sigh of relief at bedtime. I very often look at my watch in the hope that one of those peaceful sleepy-times is approaching. I very often curse in the middle of the night when woken (again) by a screaming toddler.
This paints a very bad picture of me as a mean, ungrateful mom who doesn’t deserve two beautiful children. I’m not, I swear. This is just an honest account of how I feel 10% of the time, but it’s that 10% that I feel guilty about when I’m made to consider the unthinkable what if. “What if…they weren’t there”. Lying there in my sick bed, missing my children who I’d longed to escape I was reminded of Mike Spohr’s heartbreaking blog post Sixty Seconds marking three months of his darling daughter’s passing.
As busy moms we too rarely consider what a blessing our children are as we’re wrapped up in our daily lives trying to wear too many hats, trying to keep too many balls in the air and with fingers in too many pies. But from now on I’m going to make a point of reminding myself daily: “Enjoy your kids; don’t endure them”.
Filed under: Baby Tagged: | Family, Motherhood, Parenting
Great post…I have felt that way so many times…but, I have learned to take 2 minutes when I feel frusterated to remember how lucky I am to have such beautiful children who make me laugh all the time.
Love the post…so very true. You try to do and do and do to make life better for family and then you realise what you’re doing maybe isn’t the best for your family. As I type, Little MIss is pulling on my leg so I will read her a book. Must do! Bye..great post again!
Karin
[...] I thought of a blog post I had read the day before about remembering to enjoy your kids (http://survival4moms.com/2009/08/18/enjoy-your-kids-dont-endure-them/). It’s so easy to get caught up in life but sitting there with both Jack and Lily within [...]
Great post! It really makes you think about things. I do think that a lot of us are living life in the fast lane and just need to set the cruise control for a bit and enjoy things before they pass us up. So glad I found your blog. I found you on MBC, by the way.
Momma Such
http://raisingmy4sons.com
I have felt like that sooo many times. Right now I am looking forward to school starting so I will have a few hours with out, mum can you do this, mum can you do that, mum he’s looking at me etc…but I know once they are at school, I shall miss them
Great post! I love the “voice” of your blog — can’t wait for the book – it’s going to make a great gift for all the new moms (and dads) I know!
Thank you. It is so true. We often hide behind duties, while dad goes and does “fun” time. We should live in the moment, because we’ll never get that moment back!
Ah, the classic mom guilt syndrome. We’ve all had it. But we need to learn a few simple facts of momhood, which happen to come from my Mean Moms Rules #1: I’m going to be the perfect mom…yeah, right. These facts are: none of us is perfect & that’s OK, knowing that can help us buy out of the guilit, AND to survive momhood it is imperative that we have a support network and use it. A councelor once asked me how much I thought I should be there for my kids. My answer was 100%, She LAUGHED at me! As the mom of 2, one a disabled youth, she knew better.
Love the time you have with your kids, but also cut yourself some slack. It’s ok not to love being a mom every single minute.
This is fantastic! And, well…a “Hallmark” card for me.
Thank you for your honesty and kick in the pants!
I too, was becoming that way and have been thinking about it lately. Thank you for this!
Hugs and good luck!
[...] 2009 by Erica and Lorraine A couple of weeks ago I was ill. Hang on a minute; didn’t I start another blog post with the exact same line not so long ago? Yes I did, and I’m not at all amused at having to take [...]