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Guests
Lorraine
EricaPappy, Capa, Gramps, Nana, Gran, Grandma
No matter what they are called, Grandparents play a critical role in the lives of little ones. They are however in a different stage of life and while they are deservedly adored by their wide eyed Grand Children parents must respect that they are not on the exact same wavelength as Mom and Dad.
I have to admit, I am a hyper sensitive Mom when it comes to my kids. Not in a weird, clingy, breastfeed till your 18 sort of way but in a eagle eye focused on their surroundings scenario. When Grandma and Grampa see a fun filled day on the dock fishing, I see hooks with barbs, deep water and a million dangerous things to trip and fall on.
Grandparents are at the stage where fun and unencumbered exploration with the kids is the name of the game and parent’s rules are good but a little restrictive these days. Mom needs to chill just a bit. After all, back in the day, kids didn’t wear seatbelts, childproofing was a skull and crossbones sticker and helmets weren’t needed to walk to the mailbox and back.
So what have I learned about the secret to successful co existence and harmony amongst the generations? The key is to be flexible and empathetic. When Grampa wants to share an ice cream the size of Mount Everest with my 2 year old 20 minutes before bed……I pause. Shall I turn into Medusa and scream “NOOOOOOOOOOO are you insane Dad?” Which by the way is maybe not the greatest role modelling for my son. Or do I come up with a compromise whereby a little ice cream is shared between the ages and the rest is saved for tomorrow in a take it to the freezer game?
I now know to choose the latter. So much better for everyone’s sanity, even if my inner Medusa is screaming to get out, snaky head and all. Pappy and Nana are so into the joy of the grand children that they are blissfully unaware of what happens when the bedroom door closes, or the road trip begins or a tired little brain flips into that dreaded overtired state. They don’t need to know the gory details of the “toddlernators” but a little subtle guiding by Mom can do wonders to keep 80% of the “rules” humming along while keeping the Grandparents happy,
So bring on the grey haired adventures for the kids. I am ready to adapt and be flexible……just don’t break all the rules or you may just get a nasty nip from one of my snakes.
Filed under: Baby Tagged: | Baby, Family, grandparents, Motherhood, new mom, new mom dilema, New Parents, Parenting, relationships, rookie mom
Ha ha you’re so right. My inlaws are icecream feeders, in fact I think they like to show love by giving sugar. I’ve eventually learnt to be more relaxed when we stay, after all the kids don’t see that much of them, but there’s a strict no sweeties rule that they know they mustn’t cross. They aren’t to know my eldest has the odd lollipop as a reward for being good at the hairdressers, and I don’t plan on telling them anytime soon!
My mum is the opposite, at our recent visit I suffered disapproving looks when I let them have a few chips *gasp* at the seaside. She is however prepared to give my daughter much more freedom to run and roam than me – a product of bringing them up in busy London I guess, tho I know I can be a bit overprotective in this regard too – I guess the correct way is somewhere between the two.. I’ll lighten up one day!
A very uniquely worded post, and one that reminds me of myself. Here on our farm the in-laws live right across the pasture. In my opinion, If they’re involved in my boys daily lives they need to do their best to enforce the rules we set for the boys, especially the safety ones. However I do know that they are grandparents and have earned the right to spoil, as long as my boys are still safe. Pepaw has been the violator so far, and my snakes come out when he does.
Don’t forget the over-indulgent aunties! My sister gave my 4-yr-old THREE adult portions of dessert in one day on a recent visit. I suppose it’s payback – I introduced her kids to both McDonald’s and soda years ago. Bad auntie!
I am saddened that my children are missing out on spending time with thier grandparents. On my side, all I have is my dad. He lives in MO and the kids are lucky to see him maybe once a year. If my mom were still alive, they would still be in our state (Tx) and see the kids more often. They were the kind of grandparents that loved and enjoyed the company of thier grandchildren all of the time. On my hubby’s side, his parents live in our town. They donot interact much with the kids. They are the type who expect u to wait for thier call, as to when they are ready to see them. It can be months or weeks, and u have to bring them over when they call or the kids miss out on a visit with them till they feel like they are ready to see them again. They are well to do people, who are in the social limelight and who are more into thier selfish ways than spending time with family.